At the Hands of a B!

One of the saddest stories I ever heard was involving a woman whose husband was dying of cancer.  They had returned to Saudi so her husband (a Saudi National) could die in his homeland near his family.  One early evening a few days after her husband passed away she decided that she wanted to go to the graveyard and pray for her husband. She called another teacher and asked her to go with her.  When they called the driver to take them he told them that women are not allowed in the graveyard, but out of his pity for this woman he took them.  Almost as soon as they got to the graveyard the police came and asked them to leave.  They left.  After a few days the police tracked the women down through the car’s license plate number. They were asked to come to the police station for questioning and then released.  The end of the story? NO!

The widow’s immediate supervisor at the school where she taught began circulating a story that the widow and her friend went to the graveyard and were praying pagan prayers and dancing naked on her husband’s grave.  Then when the police came she was arguing and fighting with the police for 2-3 hours.  First thing, anyone who knows just a little about Islam knows that the graves are not marked with names in Saudi Arabia (See picture above). Second, when the driver was asked about the incident by another colleague he said that they were only in the grave yard a couple of minutes at the most, they were not naked, and were not doing anything.

The story doesn’t end there.  When she came to work looking very tired and wearing dark glasses the supervisor spread the rumor that she was drunk.  She was probably wearing dark glasses because her eyes were puffy from crying. Another time a driver dropped off a key at the school for the widow and the supervisor went around saying that she was having an affair and the key was to her boy friend’s house.  Another time the supervisor was trying to contact the widow over the weekend and when she didn’t answer the phone the supervisor called around saying that she was worried that maybe the widow was in jail.

What a shame.  This poor woman suffered through the death of her husband of more than 30 years and then had to suffer at the hands of a very nasty woman.

To She or Not to She......That is the Question!

One September a very large broad shouldered eastern European "woman" arrived at our school to teach English.  She wasn’t much of a dresser; having only 2 skirts and 2 blouses.  She was very intelligent and I am sure a good teacher, but something just wasn’t right.  Soon students were whispering in the halls and to teachers “Is she a man?”  Female teachers also began to wonder.  She was shaped like a man, had a strange voice, and had a very large Adam’s Apple.  About the same time someone began urinating all over the toilet seats in the restroom.  So one day 2 teachers entered the restroom just as she was coming out of one of the stalls, they decided to wait until she left and went into the stall and check out the scene.  There was urine all over the seat!  In other words, women don’t need to raise the seat to pee!

Drop and Give Me 10!

I am sure many of you have heard about teachers using some strange and unethical methods for maintaining order in the classroom.  There was one female teacher who had pervious to teaching been in the military, thus her classroom was like a boot camp.  Wayward students were ordered to drop and give her 10 when she wasn’t pleased with them. 

She also had this demeanor with her colleagues.  Once 3 teachers were discussing postings to a website that made fun of language mistakes (Bushisms) of then US President George Bush Jr; this teacher became irate.  She said “He is my commander and chief.” 

Another time she complained because the same group was discussing the fact that Pope Benedict the XVI (Joseph Ratzinger) was involved with Nazi Germany and the Hitler Youth.   What is even stranger is that she wasn’t even Catholic unlike one member of the group discussing the Pope.

Witchcraft and the Magic Kingdom

Witchcraft in the Arab world is feared, but it is also practiced.  Many people seek the advice of practitioners of the dark arts to end relationships, curse their enemies, and even to find a mate.  Witchcarft is so feared that hardly a day goes by that some poor innocent isn't arrested for practicing witchcraft. One colleague's husband was arrested because he received something in the mail that was suppose to be connected to the practice.  Now let me stress that to this day it is not known what was in the mail or even where it came from.  It seems that in the Magic Kingdom the accused has no right to know what the evidence is.  Any way, he was accused of magic and placed in jail for 3 three days while his sponsor tried to have him released. During this time the time the man went before a judge. He told the judge that he had no control over who sends what in the mail.  He did not solicit anything such thing from anyone, nor did he know anyone who practiced such things.  Finally, he was released with the final judgment pending. After about 6 months the charges were dropped.

After speaking to a friend whose husband is a high ranking official in the Saudi government he was told that he was framed by the police.  How is that and why?  He was told that he probably had pissed someone off.  The moral to this story is be careful who you piss off.

But the story does not stop there….. The wife's immediate supervisor decided to exploit the situation and have her contract dissolved. Only after pleading her case to the president of the school was the decision revoked.

Still the story does not end……The supervisor then went around warning people about the teacher and her family, "Stay away from them they practice black magic." 

Now, might I ask who is the real witch in this story?

The World's Oldest Profession + Saudi Arabia = Imprisonment!

A few years ago a colleague; I will use this term very loosely (LOL-loosely!) here, was convicted and deported for prostitution.  She was basically running a house of ill repute out of her apartment which was paid for by her employer.  Of course she denied the charges, but what she did not realize was that her apartment building was equipped with surveillance cameras which filmed her activities.

I recall that when she first came to Riyadh she was asking where all the parties were and where she could meet men.  Many of the teachers she asked were astonished. "Didn’t she know where she was coming?"

Now we all know that this is the world's oldest profession, but I'm not sure how TESOL became part of it!  Maybe it is part of the lesson….."Remember English only in the classroom!"

I'm Gonna Punch Your Teeth Out!

 There was one somewhat deranged individual (English teacher) who decided that he didn’t like something one female teacher was saying and so threaten to punch the teacher in the mouth and throw her off the bus on the way home from work one day. When a fellow teacher decided to complain about his violent behavior she was told by the general director that it was none of her business. When the colleague persisted she was ordered out the director’s office. This male teacher not only threatened females with bodily violence, but other male colleagues. Furthermore, he flipped the bird in the face of the very director who was protecting him!  Amazing but true, but to make matters worse he still wasn't fired!

Dobbie, Dobbie, Doooo.... Ya man!

On Dave's ESL Café on October 18, 2005 Garfield said:
One Jamaican working for a large US contractor was found in the centre of Taif smoking and selling pot. His defense statement in court was great! "I am Jamaican, smoking pot is my birthright!'. The second was an Aussie who worked for a helicopter company. A gang of us used to go scuba diving at a beach to the north of Jeddah. We used to take our 'supplies' down, bury the unused supplies and mark the spot for retrieval next time. No point in bringing them back and risk getting stopped at the police check point. The police got wise and used to probe the beach and sometimes found the cache. The Aussie was arrested on Monday morning in Taif, the police had found his cache - he had put his name and address on it!

Its like a episode of world's dumbest criminals! It takes all kinds!

While this didn’t occur in Riyadh it is a strange story and thus I can justify including it here!

Fear of Driving!

On Dave's ESL Café on August 8, 2005 Paul in Saudi said:
He met a guy who would not get in any vehicle unless he was wearing a bicycle helmet. Really the guy was very rational explaining how studies show that such helmets would reduce injuries by seventy-seven percent.

Having said this, I personally know of a an ex-provost of a popular Riyadh university that had the same habit.  Same guy? Or just coincidence?

Well knowing the way that people drive here I can hardly say that I blame him!

In the Confidence of a Dead Dog....

On Dave's ESL Café on July 24, 2005 Veiled Sentiments said:
I worked with a fellow whose beloved jebel dog died and he buried it out in the desert. For the next couple of years, he went out and dug it up regularly to 'talk' to it.

I know of a colleague whose cat died.  He was very upset to say the least.  Anyway, he took the dead animal out to the wadi (a wadi is a valley) behind his house to bury it.  He went to check on the grave the next day and much to his horror the grave had been dug up!  He was sooooo upset.  Expats and animals are a real big topic of discussion.  I know of several expats who have taken it upon themselves to recue all the animals in the Kingdom. 

On Dave's ESL Café on July 25, 2005 Scott47 said:
There was a guy working for Saudi Arabian Airlines. He felt sorry for the feral cats on the compound and in the Souk opposite. He used to rescue them, give them medical treatment, feed them up and ship them back to Arizona. This over a period of MANY years!

I personally know one lady who rescues and adopts all the compound cats in her area.  As of a couple of years ago she was sharing her house with18 cats. She has heaters and airconditioning units installed in her very large yard and has a wing of her house dedicated just for them.  I feel sorry for the poor maids that have to clean their itter boxes.  But bless her heart.....

Murder at SDT!

Has anyone heard about a murder at SDT Saudi Development & Training Company (SDT), a BAE SYSTEMS Joint Venture in Riyadh? Rumor has it that an American went ballistic and killed one of his colleagues in a drunken rage. He was then arrested and is now in a Saudi jail. It seems that a teacher did a runner to Bahrain and when they entered his apartment they found the dead body of a colleague there.

The consensus was that he had been killed and that that alcohol was involved. The teacher in question was arrested in Bahrain and brought back to KSA. Both parties were from the US and had been friends

A nameless colleague sent me this link:
British teacher Andrew Cannon faces beheading for friend's death in Saudi Arabia
www.dailymail.co.uk
Formal charges could soon be laid against Andrew Cannon, 41, for the death of 57-year-old Robert Colman following a fight during an illegal drinking session.

500 Club

This was taken from a blog on the Saudi Arabia page of Dave's ESL Cafe on September 11, 2005. It was posted by a blogger known only to us as Bebsi. He writes:
Which of us aspire to membership of the 500 Club? Members must swear an oath of tightfistedness and promise to live on less than 500 Saudi Riyals a month. (15 Riyals = US$4.00)

Living frugally is easy. Just follow our simple steps here, which will allow you to not only have a frugal and therefore financially rewarding life, but to continue this prudence and thrift into the afterlife also:

Items like toilet paper are very expensive, and can be easily acquired free in the workplace or other peoples' houses. Not only are they free this way, but you can make some money when finally leaving KSA by selling accumulated stocks at the Massalamah sale.

-Similarly, bottled water is a way of saving money. Bring a load of plastic water bottles wherever you go, and fill up from those fountains. Some may be inconvenienced by having to wait in the queue behind you, but forget about them, they are just waiting to get a tiny drink. It helps to tell them to go away. You save them a lot of time this way, as by the time you fill all your bottles, there won't be enough water left for them anyway. There are fountains elsewhere, let them go there instead.

-Holidays are a serious expense. Why go on them? If you are living in KSA and you have X number of weeks' vacation, use them to stay in the Kingdom. If for example you live in an out-of-the-way place and feel you need a vacation, you could be wrong! You could explore the desert, find your own favorite spot and return there again and again. Not too far though, as you might have to spend money on sundries like transport.

--Speaking of transport, it appears that many expats purchase vehicles, and others rent. They are costly, as is taking taxis. Forget about running a car or taking expensive cabs; walk to the supermarket and to work. By not having a vehicle, you will find that you are tempted to venture out a lot less. Ditto with taxis: by following an anti-taxi policy, your desire to remain at home will increase.

--Some may balk at the thought of walking distances in extreme heat. However, do not let this deter you. Discomfort will be experienced at first, but then you will get used to it. In any event, you're not in Saudi for comfort; you are here TO SAVE MONEY!! Remember your goal.

--If you DO wish to go somewhere some distance away, you can always seek a favor. Some will frown on this and refer to it as "bumming rides", but that's their opinion. Most people, even if they are not excessively keen on carrying you in their car, will acquiesce out of politeness and a desire to not cause acrimony, perhaps. . A few of them, of a materialistic bent, may insist on "petrol money". Refuse to pay, turn their materialism back on them, and make them feel guilty. If they still insist, and refuse to provide travel in their vehicle, forget about them. Such people are of very little practical use anyway, so you don't need them!

--For entertainment, I would suggest finding another group of like-minded west-pats. They will help you to while away, at no cost, many happy hours discussing the misery of life in Saudi, and generally criticizing everything possible about the Saudis. Like you, they will not have wasted time roaming about exploring the country, wasting money on nebulous concepts such as "fun", "enjoyment' or "happiness". Many of them indeed, will have been in the Kingdom for over twenty years, and will have lots of stories to tell about life behind closed compound doors, and indeed, lots of advice on how to save money. These are people who understand the really important things in life.

--If you have the choice, sharing accommodation can be a really useful pay to avoid spending money. If you are lucky enough to find yourself with generous individuals, who do not mind sharing their food with you, count your blessings. They will also not mind taking responsibility for boring, mundane chores, such as providing the house/apartment with cleaning materials, and common-kitchen staples such as tea, coffee, milk etc.

--While some object to taking these responsibilities seriously, and through their parsimoniousness, expect YOU to pay out also, just dismiss them. The technique of shaking your head in a combination of surprise and resigned sadness will make them feel guilty and realise their fault. You can also get revenge...and save some money too...by helping yourself to their fridge stores. Biscuits, cheese, drinks...just help yourself. Those petty-minded whiners deserve it.

Why???

Can someone tell me why EFL teachers in Saudi are such an odd group? Are they odd before they come or is it Saudi that does it to them?  I sometimes think it is the place.  Teachers here tend to be isolated; away from family, friends, and everything they know and love.  Then of course there is culture shock which tends to magnify traits that exist in all of us i.e. the evil that lurks within. 

I know of one teacher that was convinced that someone was coming into her apartment when she was not at home and eating her chocolate and using her computer. She was seriously thinking of having surveillance equipment installed.  I heard that this same person thought that a former colleague was casting spells of witchcraft on her.  She said that the woman in the next cubicle was from Jamaica and she could hear her in her office mumbling spells.  I'm not sure how she knew they were spells, but this is what she said. Now, I have known this lady myself or about eight years and have heard her talk about some of these things so I can honestly say that this is true.  Please don’t misunderstand my intention; she is a lovely person, but just a bit off. 

The question remains, why?  How can perfectly good teachers be so…….?

The Teachers of Riyadh

During my many years of teaching in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia I have met a multitude of wonderful, intelligent, eccentric, and some what odd individuals who make up the world of TESOL.  I dedicate this blog to all of the Teachers of Riyadh who through their hard work and sacrifices have brought English to Arabia.  This is their place to tell their stories, their hopes, their dreams, and hopefully a place where they can relay some of the odd and strange stories they have encountered as one of the Teachers of Riyadh!